Sign Me Up, Bruv…

Posted: December 11, 2015 in Current Affairs, Religion
Tags: , ,

#TysonFury #DonaldTrump #TrumpFacts

Honestly, I’m Busy

Yesterday I signed two petitions. I’m not normally one for petitions. Social media allows me to sign forty or fifty a day – more if I had anywhere near the time that the good people at Change.Org obviously think I have. I, however, being busy, use my signature rarely as, for good or ill, I hold the belief that by using it willy nilly I devalue its efficacy – its use as currency. I have no scientific proof that this is indeed the case. It could simply be due to an over-inflated sense of self-importance on my part. Perhaps I’m lazy? I’m not too sure? Like most people, some things I do with little or no thought. I simply believe this to be the case.

The two petitions I signed yesterday, I thought about long and hard. I signed them both even though I would disagree with the outcome of either, should they come to fruition.

The first petition signed was for the removal of World Heavyweight Champion, Tyson Fury, from his nomination as one of the twelve choices for the BBC’s ‘Sports Personality of The Year’. It’s an annual event of considerable import here in the UK which is ultimately voted on by the British public from an apostolic list contrived by some grey eminence in a back-office at Broadcasting House.

The second petition I signed yesterday was to ban the United States republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, from ever alighting on these fair but damp and weatherbeaten shores.

As I write, the numbers who have also signed these petitions are at 132,000 and 515,000 respectively. In both cases, I believed it was the only way I could be part of a collective voice that showed my disapproval and disdain whilst positioning myself as far as is possible from the recent outbursts of either.

Hell Hath No Fury…

For Mr Fury’s part, following his recent and emphatic points victory over the great Wladimir Klitschko, he opined to anyone who would hold a microphone in front of him – which, believe me, was many – that the place of women was either in the kitchen making him a cup of tea, or on their back in the bedroom – presumably engaging in activities not entirely unconnected with satisfying more of his needs.

tyson fury

He further informed us that The End of The World is Nigh – well, almost nigh – explaining that it only took the acceptance of homosexuality, abortion and paedophilia before the Devil would return to signify the End of Days. As the first two abominations were already upon us, Mr Fury was awaiting the imminent legalisation of child sexual-abuse to complete the three-part Millenarian jigsaw and bring the whole apocalypse thing down around our heads. Horsemen, Angels of Death, Zombie Jesus with laser eyes, the lot.

Any day now, apparently.

When questioned by the massed ranks of the world’s press as to where this analysis had come from, they were informed that it’s ‘all there, in the Bible’. Specifically, ‘somewhere’ in the Bible. Of course, like most Christians who believe the Bible is the inerrant word of a God, Tyson Fury has obviously never read it, content to imagine that whatever he thinks of as a mortal sin must be in there ‘somewhere’. With little or no thought he simply believes this to be the case.

Bible Class

Yet the Bible says little regarding abortion or paedophilia, leastways not in the fashion that Tyson Fury believes: the Bible certainly condones and engages in the killing of foetuses and newborns as punishment; demands that toddlers be dashed to pieces; sends bears to kill insolent kids; asks that parents murder their children, or offer them for sex to rowdy mobs; implores child kidnap; child rape, child genocide and forced miscarriages; it even provides a recipe for a ‘bitter’ drink that may be given to a wife suspected of infidelity so as to abort the fruit of her womb and provide the added bonus of rendering her forever barren.

A bitter drink indeed. That’ll teach the Bitch to stay in the kitchen making the tea, or, at least, be on her back in the correct bed.

In Fury’s defence, there is – how many times do we have to be told – the injunction against homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Romans 1:26-28), but after reading the innumerable and insufferable nonsense portrayed as advice – supposedly from an all-wise deity rather than a middle-east version of a retard from Buttfuck, Alabama – it has to be asked why on earth anyone would take anything in this book at all seriously?

Still, one out of three, ain’t bad, eh, Tyson.

Fury has a loaded shotgun full of lunacy and he’s not afraid to give it both barrels – straight to his own head. Hard to imagine that his comments will be anything but detrimental to his career. I’m sure his sponsors, past and future, will be having similar thoughts.

Danger, Will Robinson!

A far more monstrous madness lies across the Atlantic where Donald Trump, as the whole world now knows, has called for Muslims (along with those thieving raping murdering Mexicans) to be collectively considered personna non grata, to be detained, marked, returned, barred, banned, beaten, and, where possible, killed.

trumpA presbyterian who knows little of religion, and is as equally skilled in foreign affairs, international relations and diplomacy as Tyson Fury, Trump has courted the traditional whack-job evangelical republican base by assuring them he has ‘drank the wine and eaten the little cracker’ of the Lord. Initially nonplussed, they have now seen his long-form concealed-carry permit, applauded his condemnation of the thousands of mythical New Jersey Muslims celebrating the fall of the Twin Towers, and have taken to him with a fervour that can only be described as messianic.

He can, it would seem, do no wrong, for even as Tyson’s star wanes with each opening of his mouth, Donald’s own rises. It would appear that the greater the stupid, the more the poll’s show him in the ascendent.

Trump, along with his followers, are beginning to build an impenetrable wall around his own form of idiocy that can only be shared by the illiterate, the ill-educated, the scared, the heavily armed, the easily led, the religious and the hard of thinking.

As each increase in stupid shows an increase in voter satisfaction, we enter a vicious circle where Trump is encouraged to turn up the stupid-dial way beyond eleven. Given a few short months, it is entirely possible that republican America will enter the primaries with what appears to resemble a two-legged copy of the British tabloid newspaper, The Sun – albeit with a hamster finely balanced above its red-top banner.

Praise The Lord!

Could the larger American public (no pun intended) vote for a man so imbecilic that even Danny Dyer could recently tweet: “Is it me, or is this geezer completely off his strange-looking nut?” (I hope Danny didn’t mind me correcting the grammar or adding the question mark), don’t worry, I have faith that they won’t.

I have faith that Trump and Fury, and their ilk, will be eaten by their own words – consumed by the very unreason and irrationality that presently propels them. I am also confident that my faith is stronger than either of theirs, for I have faith not in Goblins or Wizards or other Magic Men in the Sky – I have faith in free speech. This is why I hope these petitions will do little more than express the outrage, shock and sarcasm that many of us feel and wish to portray towards the nonsense spouted by people such as these.

Let Me Read You Your Rights

Am I offended by their bile? Of course, I am. I have the right to be offended. I do not have the right, or the desire, to not be offended. It is both their right to offer offence and mine to take it should I so choose – and respond proportionally within the realm of free speech.

Without the right to offend, freedom of speech does not exist.

Trump And Fury have shown that free speech has its problems – it means that idiots, as well as clever people like you and me, can have their say – but these problems are all dealt with by the simple application of more free speech – not less. It is difficult to curtail the rights of the stupid to free speech, without inadvertently stitching our own mouths tightly shut. I’m sorry if people are offended by Trump or Fury’s comments. I am offended, too – tough. Develop a response, formulate an argument, speak out, write a letter, stamp your feet, march. Sign a bloody petition, for Christ’s sake!

 Just don’t sign one that demands that they shut up!

The criminalisation of speaking, as we see in some European countries with Holocaust denial laws, leads to the criminalisation of giving offence. The cry of ‘I’m offended’ should lead to discourse with the opposition, not force silence upon them – yet over and over again this is exactly how the taking of offence is now used – to silence the offending (or dissenting) voice – often with the accompanying convenience that the accusations of misogyny, racism, anti-Semitism and islamophobia can provide.

As we speak, (the God of good-timing shines upon me) the news feeds are reporting that Tyson Fury is being investigated following an accusation of ‘Hate Speech’ after further comments he made regarding homosexuality on the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme: “We take every allegation of hate crime extremely seriously and we will be attending the victim’s address to take a statement.” said a spokesperson for the Greater Manchester Police.

We should be asking searching questions of Tyson – not turning him into a criminal for saying the same stupid and bigoted things – however confusedly – that all religions, and many religious people, think. There is an opportunity here to make Tyson, and people who like him, consider their views.

Still, that said, I sincerely hope that the Victim, especially after having to re-live the ordeal of listening to Tyson Fury – yet again – in front of the Police, is doing well and on the road to recovery. Apologies to all who have been triggered by my mentioning the word hate. I hope you all find your inner safe-space.

As for Donald Trump, well, that cunt can fuck right off!

Anvil Springstien.


Links & Sources:

Tyson’s interview with the BBC’s Jeremy Vine on BBC Radio 2:

The Bible on Stupid:

The Petitions:



“A BBC journalist has been suspended after saying that he was “ashamed” of his employer for including Tyson Fury in the shortlist for Sports Personality of the Year.”

Update: 12.30pm 11/12/2015:

Tyson Fury has been, thankfully, cleared by police over allegations of Hate Crime. What has this ‘accusation’ – and its subsequent dismissal, done to Tyson’s views? I imagine it has done nothing more than entrench them. Shame on the ‘accuser’, who, apparently, is no longer a victim.

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