Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

#Intersectionalism #IntersectionalAuditing #Fluff #PoeRatio

On the Importance of Intersectional Auditing.

In the ideal world of ideas, all our Privilege Points would be entirely negated by our Oppression Points creating a level playing field where the truth value, or otherwise, of differing ideas can be weighed and measured. Reality, however, is a land far from ideal.

In debate, the best we can hope for is a situation where your opponent has a roughly similar Privilege/Oppression Equivalence Ratio (POE Ratio) to yourself allowing the skill of the protagonists to come to the fore.

Watching the production of a well-timed – and well-placed – ‘I’m an Armed Forces Veteran’ card, or, even better, the ‘My Mom was a Single-Parent on Crack’ card, that has been kept up a sleeve, is a joy to behold and can make the difference between an audience seeing your facts as true, or otherwise.

Intesectional Tree - I Think

Darwin’s Famous Intersectional Tattoo he had done as a young sailor in Hong Kong whilst serving aboard the British warship HMS Bounty with Anthony Hopkins & Mel Gibson.

Producing the ‘I’m really Working Class’ card won me a ‘Battle of Ideas’ debate in a pub the other day after a two-hour gruelling argument on the nature of Dualism had more or less stalled.

Of course, this works both ways and I would advise extra precaution when the inability to see one’s opponent is a factor, as is the case in online chat-rooms and forums: A fortnight ago, my argument for the existence of Gravitational Waves, as predicted by General Relativity, was roundly trounced when I was blindsided by the classic ‘Black Vagina’ card.

This shows the importance of preparation prior to debate. Completing a full Intersectional Audit on one’s opponent is obviously crucial, and, as in the example above, may well have saved the day had I known she held the ‘Black Vagina’ card in her hand, but… (and this really is a big but) many people forget that the difference between victory and defeat may well be a lack of an in depth intersectional audit, not of one’s opponent, but of oneself.

Why suffer the ignominy of defeat when the price of a small amount of research could have shown you to be related to someone who died during the Irish Potato Famine, or, more importantly, retain your white cis heteronormative taxonomy – white penis and all – whilst identifying with, and therefore partially negating, holders of the ‘Black Vagina’ card itself.

I hope this brief but in-depth article has contributed to the understanding of how ‘Intersectionality’ & ‘Intersectional Auditing’ can help in the ongoing transformation of opinion as fact.

Anvil Springstien.

#ToryTown #RoyalFamily #AusterityForSome

NewsGrab™ ©

This Just In…

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BBC Street Party

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Anvil Springstien.


#SafeSpaces #Offended #Triggered

reprinted with kind permission of

Newspaper Banner Whitley Bay Courant

From Our Northern Correspondent

Sticks and Stones…

Images of The Flying Spaghetti Monster – a fictitious deity created originally by Bobby Henderson in 2005 to highlight the stupidity of teaching stupidity in Kansas schools – have been banned by the South Bank University Students Union as ‘likely to cause offence to persons of a religious sensibility’ following its use by radical hate-filled secular students group, the so-called South Bank Atheist Society (SBAS).

FactSLAP: South Bank University is in London, England, a country near Europe.

FactSLAP: Kansas is a country in America famous for its monkey’s and yellow painted roads.

The offending photoshopped image – Michelangelo’s ‘Creation of Adam’ (where the bearded Christian god is replaced by the equally fictitious Pastafarian god – sbuh*) was initially banned due, it was said, to the offence caused by Adam’s visible genitalia.


Trigger Warning: Possible Hate Imagery

creation of adam

Trigger Warning: Possible Hate Imagery

However, following an interjection by the South Bank University Arts Department who pointed to the fact that the ‘Creation of Adam’ fresco from the Sistine Chapel – a church brought to prominence by Dan Brown’s novel, The DaVinci Code – was possibly the most famous example of religious art in the entirety of human history, this was then quickly changed to “possibly causing offence due to the religious nature of the art.

FactSLAP: Dan Brown: discoverer of the Bible in 1998. Now lives in Hollywood, California with his Wife and two dogs.

FactSLAP: Michelangelo. An artist similar to Banksy. Formerly known as Charlton Heston.

A spokesperson for South Bank University Psychology Department added that Adam’s genitalia is also famous for being the least offensive genitalia ever and has helped generations of Catholic men by promoting a relatively positive image of their own bodies whilst simultaneously lowering the expectations of the majority of Catholic women.

Julia Henderson from the student Christian Society (GodBothSoc) professed offence at the implied phallic imagery of the FSM’s noodly appendages and expressed sadness at “the racism of low expectations of Catholic women” adding she was also offended by gay sex as the very idea of a large cock up the arse often made her feel faint.

Waiting for a redefined re-redefinition from the student body of the actual offence caused, a representative from the University’s Biology Department chipped in with, “Oh, and there was never an original human called Adam, either!

Following this statement, pandemonium broke out and Security and Police had to be called to restore order.

The so-called student Islamic Society (SCISOC) responded by stating that they were offended by the Arts Department, the Psychology Department, the Biology Department, Julia Henderson from the Christian Society, including the photoshopped image and the original fresco, adding that both images were idolatrous and should be destroyed.

The female cohort of the Islamic Society (SCFISOC), seated in the next room, were heard to mumble through the wall, ‘Yeah, whatever, innit.’

The Students Union eventually re-re-re-banned the image, now stating that it ‘may cause offence to all and any religious persons known or unknown including those who haven’t quite thought things through yet’, they said.

Then, in association with the unions Feminist Society (FemSoc), they called for the destruction of the original fresco in ‘solidarity with their fellow students of colour and of no colour at all‘.

David Cameron, speaking on the issue said, ‘This healthy debate suggests British Universities are amongst the best in the world’.

FactSLAP: David Cameron is the King of England, Ireland & Wales, but not Scotland.

FactSLAP: Scotland recently fell to the powerful Munchkin Queen.

A Mr Thingy, titular head of the Student Union, today released a press statement calling for calm whilst assuring the growing number of triggered people that all offensive things (including micro-aggressions – those little things which really piss people off) would now be banned at London’s South Bank University as from next Monday. “Phew“, said Julia Henderson before having to go and lie down after feeling a little faint.

Ken Pratt.

Northern Correspondent.

Whitley Bay Courant.

[*sbuh: We have no idea what this means?]

(Anvil Springstien is away having an interview at the Dole).

PS: It’s been a few days since I posted the above. Yesterday (24/01/2016) The Guardian posted an interesting and related piece that is well worth a read:

This Sceptic Isle

Posted: December 20, 2015 in Comedy, Music, Politics

#UKNationalAnthem #TomorrowBelongsToMe

Memories, simply beautiful and then…

I was reading a half interesting post on Jerry Coyne’s fine and prolific blog, ‘Why Evolution is True‘, regarding the seasonal mating habits of the British. In the comments, someone posted a link to a humorous song called ‘I’m British‘. I mentioned in passing that this should be the UK’s National Anthem and this led to another poster offering his own contender for the honour: It was the wonderful Julia Hills singing ‘Being British‘ (from the brilliant UK TV comedy series ‘Who Dares Wins‘ which ran from 1983 to 1988).

Following the link brought back a few memories, so over a cup of tea, I had a thunk about my own contenders for this Sceptered Isle riven by an ever-growing gap between rich and poor, the powerful and the powerless.

I came up with two.

The first is a rant by London cabbie, Chunky Mark (Mark McGowan) that was put to music around the time of the Labour leadership election (I posted it then, under the title, ‘The Most Dangerous Man in Britain‘).

The second is from Luck & Flaw’s inimitable ‘Spitting Image‘ on the eve of the ’87 election. It is the final sketch before the outro. I remember being in a room full of twenty or so people. As the credits rolled, we all knew what the next five years would bring. Everyone was silent. All had tears in their eye’s.

It now seems more prescient than ever.


Anvil Springstien.


#OldManInTheMoonAdvert #JohnLewis #XmasAdverts

Breaking News – This just in…

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Old Man on the Moon1

Anvil Springstien.

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Pinky & Perky’s Pals

Posted: October 27, 2015 in Comedy, Current Affairs, Politics

#PinkyAndPerky #ToryTown

Number 1 in the Series

Collect the Set

Pinky-And-Perkys Pals - Al Saud1

The Bomber of Yemen. Accused of using cluster bombs to bomb civilians in Yemen. A hereditary monarch with a disgraceful record regarding human rights abuses. Exporter and promoter of a strict version of sharia promulgated by Islamist terrorist groups throughout the world. When his half brother – the last Saudi king – died, Buckingham Palace flew the Union Jack (the UK National flag) at half mast. Messages of condolence were sent by David Cameron:

‘He will be remembered for his long years of service to the Kingdom, for his commitment to peace and for strengthening understanding between faiths.

‘My thoughts and prayers are with the Saudi Royal Family and the people of the Kingdom at this sad time.

‘I sincerely hope that the long and deep ties between our two Kingdoms will continue and that we can continue to work together to strengthen peace and prosperity in the world.’

An arse has never been so cleanly licked.

Number 2 in the Series

Collect the Set

Pinky-And-Perkys Pals1

As the Tories whinge about the constitutional rights of the second house, Cameron & Osborne will, later this week, be shaking hands with this murderer.

Anvil Springstien.