Posts Tagged ‘Current Affairs’

#DontBombSyria #Daesh #SimonDanczuk #Bullying


What’s in a Word

daeshWe have been told that in future we should call our naughty neighbours in Islamic State by the Arabic acronym, Daesh, (pronounced Day-esh, Die-esh, Dee-ish, Dish, Daysh or Dash) which, apparently translates to ‘Islamic State’.

I initially thought that this was by way of our politicians trying to sound cool, hip and down with the kids in that embarrassing way your father might use the phrase Bro’, or the dreaded ‘Hey, my Nigga!’ upon being introduced to a friend of yours. I was wrong. It would appear that this is simply because the Arab acronym sounds similar to the abusive Arabic term, ‘Daes’, meaning ‘one who crushes something underfoot’, or even the unbelievably more derogatory, ‘Dahes’, which translates as ‘one who sows discord’.

Sticks and Stones…

Seemingly, this word is absolutely hated by IS in the same way that a past classmate of mine, Jimmy Tusser, hated the mean-spirited pronunciation of his surname. It must drive them mad – it certainly drove young Jimmy mad: he became a loner and a compulsive eater. Selling his mother’s house in Anfield, Liverpool 4, he emigrated to New Zealand along with the final insult of having to pay for two seats due to his obese size.

No doubt the Kiwi’s at immigration – known for their wit – immediately added insult to injury upon his landing.

Sometimes, sadly, shit sticks and you never hear the last of it – how long has it been since Mohammed looked lovingly into Aisha’s dreamy little eye’s?

He was a touchy kid – Jimmy, that is, not Mohammed – and I feel an element of guilt in the abuse he received. Words, after all, hold considerable power. It was bullying, pure and simple. There is no other description for it.

Terrible Suffering

Still, it is with this in mind that I hold some considerable sympathy with the government in its attempts to upset or hurt ISIS by calling them names. Let’s face it, as Fat Jimmy Tosser has shown, it works. One only has to look at the pain and hurt sustained by poor Simon Danczuk, Labour MP for Rochdale, who, I imagine, has suffered terribly over the last few days following his voting record on the precision bombing of people standing next to Syrian children. How hard must it be to be the constant target of words such as wanker, twat, arsehole, gobshite, loser and cunt, particularly when they’re true?

Bullying can be a powerful weapon in the hands of the righteous, especially when we see just how touchy our ISIL opponents seem to be. This sensitivity, in my opinion, shows a real weakness in their armour – let’s face it, it’s hardly wounding to be called ‘one who crushes something underfoot’, is it? I could do better than that without a moment’s thought – how about ‘one who wears little girls pink knickers’? See how easy this is.

Victory Imminent

This weaponisation of bullying – something that the Tory party are supposedly particularly adept at – needs to be given a bit more thought if it’s to help in the now nearly almost imminent victory in the War on Terror. The good thing is we don’t have to rely on the Old Etoninians, here – with the power of the internet and social media we can all do our bit, even in the most critical of Terror alerts: I’ve just thrown ‘Pack of fucking Kiddie Fiddlers’ into my online Arabic translation app’ and have come up with a surefire Brimstone missile for our War of the Words:  “الاستغلال الجنسي للأطفال”. Yeah, see, take that, Islamic State/ISIS/ISIL/Daesh/IS.

Admittedly I’m still struggling with the pronunciation.

We really ought to let these Jihadis know that once the Forces of Light have gathered, and the ground war starts, prisoners can expect to be given wedgies, Chinese burns, held against hot radiators, and to be picked last for the footie during P.E. – only to end up in goal.

The gloves are finally off.

Anvil Springstien.




Added Bonus Content:

Free MI5 ‘Terror Alert’ Status as of 23.47 05/11/2015

  • LOW: An attack is unlikely.
  • MODERATE: An attack is possible, but not likely
  • SUBSTANTIAL: An attack is a strong possibility
  • SEVERE: An attack is highly likely
  • CRITICAL: An attack is expected imminently 

#BootsOnTheGround #GhostArmy #ToryTown #NotInMyName #DodgyDossier #70000

puss in boots poster1

Oh Yes, They Are!
Oh No, They’re Not!

The fine British tradition of Pantomime entertainment is to get a boost this Christmas with a new West End performance of David Cameron’s latest production of Puss in Boots on The Ground.

The hilarious festive romp starring Cameron himself as Principal Boy and Theresa May as Dame Porky is directed by George Osborne and based on a well-received script by Hillary Benn.

After selling off the family jewels for a bag of beans, David, in an attempt to slay the Giant, travels to London and climbs the beanstalk where he searches for the mythical Soldiers of The Sand – a ghostly army of 70,000 kind and moderately inclined souls.

Theresa uproariously helps David to dynamite the Golden Goose in order to cut off the Giants funds before he bravely battles the Multi-headed Porcine Hydra. Sowing it’s teeth, he summons the humorously hapless Army of the Sand, securing their services with the promise of everlasting membership of the UK Liberal Democratic Party and free meals at the House of Lords.

The final scene as David & Theresa lead their all-singing-all-dancing ghost army to the gates of the Giant’s desert lair is without doubt a glorious monument to the theatrical imagination.

Expect the jokes to come thick and fast in this brave, mainly ad-libbed, production.

This wonderful musical family fantasy promises to leave a smile on the face of children and adults alike and may run for years and years.

You really have no choice but to watch this farce.

#OldManInTheMoonAdvert #JohnLewis #XmasAdverts

Breaking News – This just in…

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Old Man on the Moon1

Anvil Springstien.

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Original Source:


#Syria #Isis #StopTheWar #TheGodThatWasntThere #Voltaire

Doubting Justin

The Archbishop of Canterbury, the right reverend Justin Welby, speaking in an interview for a BBC religious programme, has said that the despicable and religiously inspired attacks on the citizens of Paris had made him ‘doubt’ the presence of God.


Really, Justin? One wonders how you managed to get by with your faith intact upon hearing of the 17 million dead of World War 1, the 60 million dead of World War 2, the 500,000 dead from the illegal Iraqi War, the 250,000 dead – and counting – from the Syrian War, the 7,600,000 annual death toll from cancer, the 5,000 deaths from Ebola, the 21,000 men, women and children who die every day from hunger-related causes, the 20 million murdered by Stalin, The millions more by Mao, Pol Pot, Kim Jong Il and his bastard offspring, the bombings of thousands of civilians in Korea and Vietnam by Johnston and Nixon, then there’s Id Amin, Titi, Suharto… the list is endless, much of it inspired, indeed demanded by the texts of the two main religions of the world – the Bible and the Qu’ran, and watched, one can only assume, pitilessly by their deities.

When will the penny drop, Justin? How long will it take to erode the delusion you carry in your head?

Perhaps, given the geographic and religiously inspired nature of last week’s attacks I should Voltaireend this brief missive with the words of one of the greatest ever Parisians, Voltaire (it was his birthday yesterday, by the way, Justin. You may wish to pay your respects at his home of exile in Maiden Lane, Covent Garden – there’s a commemorative plaque you can look for).

Ever a wag of wit and concision, Voltaire hits the nail on the head every time. Hope you’ve got your pen ready, Justin.

“It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.”

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

Both of the above are for you, but perhaps we can add one more from the great man in case you bump into David Cameron:

“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

Anvil Springstien.

NoteThe title of the piece, ‘The God Who Wasn’t There’ is taken/borrowed/filched from the 2005 independent documentary written and directed by Brian Flemming. The film examines the existence of Jesus and takes a look at the evidence for the Christ myth – well worth a watch. AS

The God That Wasn’t There – Wikipedia Link

#ToryTown #TaxCreditCuts

This just in…

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Anvil Springstien.

Original source:

#JezWeCan #NationalAnthem #ProsperityThroughPoverty #BattleOfBritain


Lest We Forget

On the day when Prime Ministers Questions may prove to be the most interesting in years, in a week when an opposition leadership election forced a sitting prime minister to rapidly shoot off, somewhat Madonna-like, to visit poor people in the Lebanon, (I’m surprised he didn’t bring a brown baby back for the obvious photo-opportunity exiting the plane at Heathrow) we have the Murdoch press screaming like small schoolchildren at a birthday party, “Miss, Miss, Corbyn’s not singing!”

Apparently Jeremy Corbyn has ‘snubbed’ our glorious monarch by ‘refusing’ to mouth the words of the national anthem during the Battle of Britain memorial service whilst the entire Tory party, nay, the entire nation were standing to attention in front of their television sets, saluting and bellowing for all they were worth.

No doubt young Liz will have been in tears at Jeremy’s ‘snubbing’ on this her special occasion.

Another day in her long reign ruined by that selfish boy at the front.

What nonsense.

Someone ought to remind Murdoch, Cameron, and Tory MP Sir Nicholas Soames (the grandson of Winston Churchill no less) that the national anthem – sung or respectfully listened to – is not about the Queen and hasn’t been for quite some time. It is not like singing ‘Happy Birthday to You’. We are no longer subjects of an omnipotent Monarch sent by a powerful god to rule over us.

If we do sing the national anthem – or merely choose to allow that thankfully short melody to wash over us – say on an Olympic podium or before representing our country in a World Cup – it is because we associate it with membership of a collective entity or endeavour, namely England, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales, the United Kingdom, Great Britain, the North East, or what have you.

That the words, like the figurehead herself, are anachronistic are neither here nor there – it is what they represent.

Likewise yesterday’s remembrance ceremony was not there to celebrate Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. It was to remember the sacrifice that young men and women gave in the fight against fascism and corporatism during the Second World War. A sacrifice that allowed the survivors of this conflict to return home to a land ‘fit for heroes’.

A land which would enact legislation upon their return – promised legislation – that would bring about a National Health Service, build homes, and develop a Welfare State that would reflect this collective endeavour from ‘the cradle to the grave’.

A land which would act like a beacon to the civilised world in how it treated its citizens, its old, its ill and its poor.

These are the very collective endeavour and ideals that Murdoch and Cameron wish to consign to the dustbin of history. The very collective endeavour and ideals that Corbyn and his supporters seek to rekindle in a nation that has had the product of this endeavour taken from it and placed securely into the bank accounts of the rich and the few.

It is a sad day when those that seek the imposition of a neo-liberal corporatist ideology that is more akin to the fascism that this nation fought against in those dark days when she stood alone, are those very same people that demand we wave the flag and beat the drum of petty nationalism.

It is a disgrace both to the memory of those who fought in World War II, and to the ideals that many in our families were to pay the ultimate sacrifice for.

Anvil Springstien.

[image: Battle of Britain Memorial Trust]